Why do you do what you do?
Why do you do what you do?
If you said “because I have to” then try to be more specific. Why do you ‘have to’?
So many women feel stuck. Stuck in jobs that aren’t fulfilling, in relationships that aren’t bringing out the best in them, in the cycle of trying to keep up with the demands of daily life and in the mindset that they aren’t worthy of the things they dream of.
So, I have some questions for you.
- Why do you work such massive days in a job you don’t necessarily love?
- Why do you continually say yes when you want to say no?
- Why do you keep putting everyone else’s needs before your own?
- Why don’t you feel worthy of all that you dream of?
Too often we go through the motions of daily life and get a year down the track only to realise we’re still in the same place, doing things we don’t love to do, surrounded by people who aren’t inspiring us to be the best version of ourselves and focusing on what isn’t working and what we don’t have. The issue with doing this is that your goals get pushed to the side so you can simply survive the ins and outs of daily life and when tomorrow comes back around you realise you’ve been doing more of the same without actioning your goals.
When change is necessary, we generally know. The challenge is making a start.
Perhaps, sitting down and mapping out your intentions and long and short-term plans is overwhelming. It can see people go in at full-speed only to realise that what they’ve set themselves is unrealistic, too time and energy consuming or not what they actually want.
To change, you may need to alter your habits, switch up your routine, say ‘yes’ or’ no’ to things you usually say the opposite to and step beyond your comfort zone. The goals that you set yourself need to be for YOU, not for the satisfaction of anyone else. As your goals need to align with your values you need to clarify and connect with what these are for you. This will then help you to focus on your priorities which are a wonderful starting point and will keep you motivated throughout the change process (it’s ongoing!).
It can be confronting and easy to fall back into old patterns and habits. It takes time to reflect, be honest with yourself and listen in to what you truly desire.
As the aim of all change is to make progress (not perfection!) rather than continually focusing on the old, you need to be held accountable to work towards the new. Some people find it easy to answer to themselves and feel like sharing their goals makes them lose their magic or adds too much expectation. They can independently stay on track and achieve their desired change. Others start off well and fall off the wagon at some stage. Some people swing between the two and others like having someone challenge them, check in and cheer them on when they need it the most. They like being asked why they want something and why what they’re repeatedly doing is or isn’t working for them. Throughout the process of change, whether progress is made or not, it is imperative that you honour yourself, reflect and continually grow.
Take a moment to visualise yourself after having achieved your long standing wishes. How do you feel?
Keep this feeling with you as you move through change. Know it well and use it to drive you forward and prove to yourself what you’re capable of. Be willing to make this feeling possible for yourself and don’t talk yourself out of it. Don’t think your goals aren't valuable or worthwhile pursuing based on what others' opinions. Trust yourself and back yourself all the way.
Here are some hints to get you started:
- Make a list of what you do every day and write the reason why you do it. If you don't like the reason, this could be a good place to start making changes.
- Start with small changes no matter how tempting it is to jump in head first.
- Challenge yourself but be realistic.
- Make sure your environment is conducive to the changes you intend to make.
- Commit to holding yourself accountable or choose someone who will do that for you.
- Check in, track and reflect on your progress.
The best time to begin is now so go ahead and take that first step. You may just surprise yourself in the process.
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