3 signs you're self-sabotaging
Do you find that you stand in your own way far too often?
As in, you make things harder for yourself than they need to be, hold yourself back and add stress without even meaning to?
We all do at times.
Sometimes we can see that it’s happening and take responsibility and other times it seems a whole lot easier to shift the blame, rattle off excuses and keep going around in a loop wanting to change but just doing more of the same!
Cue frustration, lack of motivation, negative self-talk and the layering of unhealthy habits.
Self-sabotage happens when our conscious, logical mind gets overridden by our sub-conscious mind.
This means that our logical mind is telling us to start and continue healthy habits. To eat healthy, save money, have realistic expectations, accept support, do more exercise, spend less time on our phones and go to bed earlier (just to name a few!).
As soon as this happens our sub-conscious mind has a field day and starts taking over. It pulls us back, talks us out of it, places doubt in our minds and tries to keep us comfortable and safe. Ironically, instead of protecting us, it makes things a whole lot harder in the long run.
So next time you set an intention to change next week or month, or go into a new year with high hopes of things shifting, make sure you’ve got a good idea of some of the habits that are going to make you feel like you take one step forward and two steps back!
Here are 3 ways you might be self-sabotaging and letting your sub-conscious mind run the show!
1. You procrastinate
You put things off because you don’t want to do them, can’t be bothered, don’t think you’ll do a good enough job (perfectionism!), find them challenging or see that what’s waiting to be done is too overwhelming.
By procrastinating you’re adding stress and letting your negative self-talk rule you (“you’re lazy”, “you’ve got no willpower”, “you always do this”, “why can’t you just do it like everyone else does?”, “you’re hopeless!”). You do the easy, fluffy jobs first and get them crossed off but let the big things keep adding up day after day.
Breaking things down into small chunks, having a system in place to manage your time, prioritising tasks and activities and working through your self-talk will all help you to be more efficient and get things done.
2. You set unrealistic expectations
You expect yourself to do so much to such a high standard that it’s too much before you’ve even begun. You might not have the time to fit everything in, don’t have the skills or resources to do something on your own or want to be able to do everything all at once. As a result, you feel like you’re scraping the surface of so many things and aren't doing anything properly.
The result? You become overwhelmed, are hard on yourself and procrastinate!
Noticing how you feel when you do and don’t meet your expectations, checking in with your values and asking yourself ‘what am I trying to prove?’ can all help you to be more realistic and gentle on yourself.
3. You have an ‘all or nothing mindset’
You either do something 100% (high expectations) but if you can’t do that, you don’t even bother getting started (procrastination). This can really work in your favour or work against you. It can move you forward but lead to burn out, or it can hold you back and give you more time and energy to focus on other things.
Having realistic expectations, starting small and building up over time can help you to manage your mindset, get things done and be able to sustain them over time. No more going hard at something and falling off the bandwagon a week later or having something sitting on your to-do list for months!
Do you find that any of these habits are getting the better of you?
What’s one small thing you can do from today to switch things up?
Also, if you’d like to know learn more about HOW you can stop automatically defaulting to these self-sabotaging habits join my FREE online mini-masterclass where I’ll walk you through 5 STEPS you can take to see change sooner and actually stick at it! You can join me here.